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Ms_Gamper
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Name: Denice
Country: United States
State: THE LAB ROOM
Birthday: 7/23/1903
Interests: Enzymes, anatomy, chemicals, labratories and TORTURE!!! MUAHAHAHA.
Expertise: making students feel as though my class will take 7 hours, rather than one, sucking life out of children in dementor-fashion simply by speaking. Do not judge me. It's taken years to perfect this talent!
Message: message me
Member Since:
6/25/2004
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| Well dearies,
It has been a while since I have updated. I feel that self expression is usually a waste of time that could be spent learning, studying, advancing intellectually and creatively, reading, making lesson plans, polishing my projector and ruining lives. But due to my incredible efficiency and good ol' no-nonsense approach to life, I am far ahead of schedule and I've decided to indulge a little. While I do this, I'm even treating myself to celery sticks with cottage cheese. Teehee, I know, I'm bad.
Well, over the years I have seen many classes graduate. I've watched many students go on to have better lives than my awful wonderful one. But the class of 2007 moving on was a very interesting experience for me. Knowing that I, in my infinite wisdom, actually molded that class, weeded out the bad seeds early on, makes me proud. I know all those students who did will think back on many aspects of BHSEC with fondness, but I cannot imagine that any memory will surpass their memories of my classroom and lessons as far as greatness goes. They will remember my mind numbingly boring unique and fascinating lectures about soul sucking and happiness suppression enzymes, cell biology and inhibitors. They will remember the days they were lucky enough to have me ask THEM for a favor, the way their little hearts pounded with joy at the opportunity to impress the adult in their life whom they respected, admired, and let's face it, probably wanted to be like. Bless them.
And as they left, a whole new batch of prey young minds came in to be eaten educated by me. I have had them for almost five months now. Sometimes I wonder why they tend to have a vacant, hollow expression on their faces as I lecture, or why silent tears sometimes pour down their little cheeks. Obviously, some teacher is causing them stress. Unfortunate that it distracts them from my glorious impartation of knowledge. They be missing out yo.
Well, I have indulged for far too long, and I think this cottage cheese may have gone bad. Oh look at that. Expires 7//14/2004. I thought it tasted funny. I probably shouldn't have eaten the whole tub.
Fairwell, children. I LOVE YOUr souls for breakfast!!!
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| OH BOY! I administered my finals this week. What a joy. I spent many hours after school, typing it up, making sure to phrase questions so they were near impossible! Unfortunately they weren't tough enough to cause students to fall over dead, like I wanted. My plan shall not fail the next time!
GAMPY: What are we doing tonight, Gamper?
The Gamper: The same think we do every night, Gampy, TRY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD.
I'm getting super excited at the thought of fresh meat, souls to destroy, emotions to drain! My synapses are going CAR-AZY!!!! I've decided I just don't do enough binder checks!!!! I've decided to multiply them by four next year. Also, I don't give out enough Hand outs! What would my miserable life be if I didn't ensure that my children went without back problems when they grew up? They already are ensured arthiritis, by my anal note-taking requirements, but I really want to contribute to the world of Science by making sure my fellow doctors will earn money.
Yes....back problems must be ensured. At least they'll probably have children or a signifigant other to perform tasks for them when they deal with the side affects of my torture. I just gots me and my pwetty reflection! AND THATS ENOUGH!
Remember: There is no fun. There is only the BioChem. | | |
| ahhh...yet another school year draws to a close. Just a few more days left to complete the destruction of the souls of this years fresh batch of kiddies. Of course, that means plenty of time for squeezing in impossible finals that cause children to sob and lose sleep, and plenty of time to lecture about tedious, pointless, overly detailed CRAP! *slaps self* I don't approve of that language*
Anyway, I think I've done quite well in erasing all the joy in the little freshmen hearts. I've been delightfully cruel and unforgiving all year. In fact I've just thrown myself a little party, with balloons and decorations and a cake saying "CONGRATULATIONS ON A JOB WELL DONE, MS GAMPER." I waited for a while for guests to come, but in the end it was just me and...me. WHICH IS HOW I LIKE IT.
All I can do is wait for the next batch of freshies coming along next year. I've been slightly weak lately, since I haven't been able to suck as much joy, happiness and goodness out of my students, since there isn't really any left at this point. I need fresh meat. New souls. I am spending all summer perfecting my lectures to make sure the new 9thies are unable to pluck anything even remotely interesting out of them. Anyway, I've been neglecting my work, so I must get back to it! Plus, I need to go prey on the innocent, before I collapse!
Remember: All play and no work makes Jack CHOPPED INTO TINY PIECES BY MEEEEEEEE! | | |
| I am still here in the school, some of my students stop moving but as long as they pass their Bio quizes I don't care, the youth these days have such crazy trends. Cob webs had developed all over the place and I had a 6 hour lecture on spiders and their chemical enzymes. Several more students stopped moving during my lecture but thats okay I respect the young people. I think that someday I'll bring in my evil carnival so that the students can have a 6 second break but as soon as it over it will be work work and MORE WORK. | | |
| School is over....or so they tell me! But I remain in the classroom! And the students are all there too! I lecture them for 12 hours straight and they don't even complain! They're soooo nice and quiet! I love my job! OOOO! I must go play with chemicals, then grade some labs, then type up a ridiculously evil homework assignment, then eat some souls!
Remember, you're just one big happy test tube! | | |
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